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Lynette Bushnell Hone AIS Class of 1974 lynette_hone2003@yahoo.com July 5, 2007 Dear family, friends and teachers, Our sweet father and husband made his transition this morning at 7:45 a.m. at the Loch Raven Hospice for Veteran's. He is no longer suffering and I know he has made a full recovery on the Other Side. I/we will miss his smell and his smile, his love and his laughter, but I/we have been blessed with having known, loved, and been loved by such a fabulous human being, such a wonderful man! Please know that all of your prayers and positive thoughts for John, Ron, and myself were always much appreciated and helped us get through John's leaving his earthly experience. At this writing, 12 year old son Ron is sleeping after having been up all night, unable to sleep (almost as if he sensed his dad's passing). Apparently, neither adult step-son Brian, nor myself slept well last night either. I was unable to get myself out of bed all day yesterday after having been with John the night before for many hours. I had wanted to over-night with John last night, July 4th, although he had not truly wished me to do so - he knew that overnights for me at hospitals have been difficult due to my back pain. I spoke to him on the phone for the last time at around 6 p.m., and as usual, he told me to take care of myself. That was our John. Brian and I went together to say one last earthly goodbye to our loved one's body this morning. Ron elected to stay home and he lit the candles that John had had at his bedside here, candles we had gotten in Florida, candles ...for healing....when I came home today, the house was beautifully ablaze with healing candles and it smelled good too! Brian has been a real God-send for me today; he has been doing the driving and knows the emotional ups and downs of losing a loved one who has suffered so. I have been crying, laughing, wailing, numb and grateful and sad...all of these emotions all day long, and at different times of the day...waves of feeling... Brian's father-in-law passed in 2003, his wife died in 2005, and now his dad has passed as well. John's mother, one sister and one brother made a trip from Ohio yesterday and were with John until 8:00 p.m. last night. John passed quietly by himself between nursing shifts this morning. He had told me night before last that he might need to pass without me there, that he might need to concentrate on his crossing over to the Other Side. I think of his death and dying as akin to those of us who have labored in delivery of our children- it probably did take alot of energy and focus. I am very blessed with having known him since 1992, and with having been the wife and love of the man, John W. Hone, since 1994. I experienced a child with him. I had vocalized that desire, "I wish I could have experienced having had a child with you...", and lo and behold! John's vasectomy reversed naturally the next month, and I conceived our son Ron! Ask and ye shall recieve! John taught me about trust, he taught me about love, he taught me to play and be able to laugh at oneself occasionally! John taught me about honesty and respect for mother earth, and for all of her creatures (man,as well as flora and fauna). John was my best friend, he was my lover, he was my rock (which felt like an my anchor, at times!). John William Hone was my... finally being able to experience good parenting (most of the time) to my 2 boys, Kent and Ron. He was a decent, kind, gentle, loving man who liked to farm and loved animals and babies. I've got to stop now. Blessings to you all! John William Hone Love, always and forever, Lynette, Ron and Brian Hone July 2, 2007 Hi family, friends and teachers, Husband John has been in a Veteran's hospice since June 28th. After he had the major surgery, the debulking, May 17th, he was discharged a week later and was home 2 days before I had to get him back to the hospital with severe diarrhea and a terrible infection that left him dehydrated and weak, and caused the collapse of his left lung, with his lung and abdomen filling with fluid. Those were the last 2 days of his time with us here at home. He was in-hospital until a room opened up at Loch Raven Veteran's Hospice, where he was ambulanced because of his physical state. He has not been strong enough to come home to die, nor have I the strength or energy, or support enough to have him in the home with all of his physical needs. Fortunately, and unfortunately (because I'd much prefer to have my love, my husband, be with me every day and every night until his passing from this earth) he is in a good hospice, a clean and attractive facility where the staff is very caring. Unfortunately it is an hour away from Annapolis in a suburb of Baltimore. John sleeps most of the time now and has lost alot more weight. He eats and drinks very little. He has a drainage tube in each kidney and in his abdomen. His Foley catheter and his ileostomy bag continue to work, thank God. His cancer has now moved down his abdomen to his bladder and it was quite painful for him until he had the nephrostomy (kidney) tubes placed. 12 year old son Ron made honor roll this last grading period despite his father dying before our eyes. He continues to be a very conscientious, loving son. He has found a new friend in a really kind, polite, intelligent Nigerian boy who was in his 6th grade and lives close by. His friend's mom is a teacher and we get along well. Ron spends alot of time w/his new friend Fula now. 17 year old son Kent stands by in Alabama, where he continues to live with his dad, and sends his love and support to his brother Ron and myself regularly. Kent will be a senior in high school this next school year. He is growing into a very caring young man. Adult step-son Brian has been of incredible help to his dad, brother Ron, and myself during these trying days. "The apple doesn't fall far from the tree"! He will be helping me to rent (w/option to buy) a town house only 2 houses down from my youngest brother John and his wife and 2 kids in Centreville, Virginia once John passes, and until I can get back on my feet. I haven't worked outside of the home for a few years now. Brian will then move to Ohio to be w/his girlfriend. My husband's 85 year old mother, 2 sisters and one brother all made it here from Ohio to see him in June. His mother has made the trip here three times since his operation in May. She's coming again 4th of July weekend w/another son and his wife! I think that goes to show that once a mom, always a mom, no matter what ones age, and how old ones child becomes! Bless my mother-in-law's heart! It is finally my turn to experience the death and dying of the man I love, and my youngest son's father. My days are filled with a mixture of gratitude, sadness beyond belief, head aches and nausea from the sadness, even awe at the process of this death and dying, and way too much to even begin to share in my e-mail, I'm afraid. My best friend and sister-in-law Denise is my daily/nightly shoulder to cry on, my person to laugh with, and snort, and sniffle to. I enjoy having the luxury with her of being able to call her any time of the day or night and she will listen, respond, calm me, hear my anguish and not dismiss me or try to get me out of the feeling I'm having at the time. Thankfully, my feelings never become hers (unless it's laughter) so I never have to worry that I am a burden to her. What a gift she gives me! I tell her that she gives the gift that keeps on giving, as you all do, for when she is here for me, I can then be more present for my husband and sons. Many times, my sniffling turns into laughter and she and I can laugh out loud together! My brothers John and Bob, and my sister-in-law Joanna have also added so much to my network of love and support with their kind words and willing ears. Without them, I fear I would be lost. I also want to thank you all for the e-mails and continued prayers sent our way. Although I haven't e-mailed back until now, I want you all to know that I have occasionally turned on the computer at some wee hour of the night when sleep escapes me, and your e-mails are so helpful...just knowing that you are out there and thinking of us as we journey through this death and dying of a loved one. My best childhood friend Linda Finlay is coming to the U.S. from England July 18! I plan to pick her up at Dulles Airport and she will be staying here in Annapolis for 2 days until we drive to Philly together for our American International School (New Delhi, India) class of '74 reunion! Brian will be taking care of his dad, Ron, and our dog and cat while I am away that weekend. I will, of course, remain home if that time becomes John's time to make his transition. Linda's plan is to take the train on up without me, should that become the case. It will be wonderful to see my old friends from childhood (4th -8th grade). I know that I will be somewhat distracted, but I believe this to be such a monumental event that friend Mary Williamson has organized for us that it is impossible for me not to try to make it. I hope that others in our class will feel the same way about this unique experience of former childhood friends from India getting together in our adulthood to share experiences, strengths and hope. Always and forever, Lynette Previous letters from Lynette
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